However, one has to admit that within the sadness that comes with having failed over and over at making changes in one’s life come the hope that one day the changes will stick, the life will begin anew, the future will be that lemon you hoped for.

That’s what I want. My name is Melanie Haslam. I am 22 years old and I have had one of if not the worst year of my life. I have often thought of myself as a past-pessimist in that I always think the direct past is the worst :blank: of my life, but I’ll tell you there’s only two years that have shattered my heart and mind – one of them is actually transcends the gregorian calendar: 2007-2008, which I consider one year because ’07 was only life shattering after July and ’08 only until June so I might as well throw them together. and 2010. This last one. Where everything happened to go wrong at the precise time it had to go right. Where things out of my control were shoved in my face for what seemed like the fun of it.

But all I say to that: it’s okay. One thing to be learned from bad experiences is that after its over it doesn’t feel so bad anymore. so it’s okay.

My name is Melanie Haslam. I’m not a sage, nor am I in any way wise. I’m not a genius at the art of writing, or at the art of being interesting. My life story is somewhat interesting but me? Not really. In fact, I haven’t really been in love or had someone be in love with me because I’m not interesting enough to form full and mutual relationships with people. I’m the person people add on facebook but not their phones. Who they follow on twitter, and never really wish to unfollow them but rather just ignore their posts.

That’s what I think of myself, actually. Whether that’s the truth or not, I can’t really say. When you feel invisible, useless, futureless, crazy, mean, unhealthy, depressed, and above all lonely everyone can tell you it isn’t true, but it will never feel right.

My name is Melanie Haslam and I want it to feel right.

This is my journey towards a better life.